Your Guide to Self-Empowerment and Positive Change

As you can see I haven’t posted in awhile. Been a busy summer! This post is an excerpt from my report, “Secrets to Sustaining a Love Relationship” which you can find on my website.  It offers some tips. Hope you find them helpful.

Being in a love relationship can be wonderful yet also challenging.  Fortunately there is a lot of information available to us now offering relationship guidelines. The following are a few suggestions that can help improve your relationship.

In order to nurture and sustain a love relationship it is important to practice what I call the three A’s to one another as often as possible. The three A’s are acceptance, acknowledgement, and appreciation. For example, “I love you for who you are. Thank you for taking out the garbage. We’re so lucky to be together. ”

Acceptance means letting go of the need to be perfect and honoring your humanness.  So much of the time couples try to change one another.  This comes out of an unconscious need to control life in order to feel safe.  However, it is fear based and does not foster love.  Since our partners are mirrors for us, our lack of acceptance for them may be a reflection of a lack of acceptance for ourselves.  In order to sustain your relationship you need to accept where things are right now.  This includes accepting yourself as well as your partner.

Acknowledgement inspires positive behavior and therefore fosters growth. When people feel acknowledged they feel encouraged. This creates a desire to want to do more. When you acknowledge all the little things your partner does that bring you joy and support in your life, it will lift your spirits as well.

Appreciation opens doors to communication and to the heart. No one likes to feel taken for granted. Begin to express appreciation for all the little things that your partner does. Look around you and notice all that you have to appreciate in your life.  Self-appreciation is a must as well. Learn to balance criticism with appreciation for all that is good in your partner and in your life.

In what ways do you nurture your love relationship? How do you nurture your relationship with yourself? Although these tips have been geared towards a love relationship, any relationship especially a primary one needs to be nurtured. How do you nurture your relationships in general? I am looking forward to hearing from you about this topic.

All the best,

Susan Eller

http://www.healingfromwithin.com/

Recently on Twitter someone asked me what the difference was between self-care and being lazy. I thought that was a great question. One that was deserving of exploring as I believe self-care to be of the utmost importance.

First of all I believe that for most of us the word “lazy” is a term our ego uses to push us into doing something our spirit doesn’t really want to do at the moment. It’s a “should” statement/ a judgment that can throw us out of alignment.

Self-care means taking care of yourself – body, mind and spirit. You practice self-care by following your energy, tuning into your body’s messages and taking time to relax and rejuvenate when your body directs you to do so. By doing this you will have more energy and vitality to accomplish the projects that are awaiting your attention.

You may ask, “How can I tune into my body’s messages and that of my spirit’s?” Taking time to be silent is one way. Begin by quieting your mind. For example, take a few moments right now to close your eyes and pay attention to your breathing. Let go of any thoughts and notice how you are feeling. Practice doing this on a regular basis and you will become more in touch with your inner being.

Practicing self-care will help you maintain health, well-being and balance. Have you ever noticed how great you feel after a spa treatment, a nap, a soothing bath or a massage?

As you learn to tune into your body and spirit you will become more aware of how to take better care of yourself. I am reminded of a statement by Wayne Dyer, “ We are human beings not human doings” How comfortable are you with ‘being”? Or do you think you have to be continually “doing” in order to feel worthy?

The teachings of Abraham (http://www.abraham-hicks.com) has helped me to be more in touch with the flow of life and what Abraham calls “the stream of well-being”. If you have never seen this video I highly recommend it. You can view it here.

Abraham on: THE STREAM – Esther & Jerry Hicks

I encourage you all to nurture your body and spirit, honor your “beingness” and appreciate life rather than push against it. Take good care of yourselves by practicing “Self-Care”.  By “tuning in “ to your body and spirit you will tap into your inner guidance which will lead the way to more balanced living.

In what ways do you practice self-care? I welcome your comments here.

Blessings,

Susan

Back in the late 1970’s I practiced Vipassana meditation  with Dr. Rina Sircar, a Buddhist nun who teaches at the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS). At that time CIIS had not been established yet and the school was called the California Institute of Asian Studies.

Every morning, five days a week, a group of us gathered with Rina to meditate for an hour. Vipassana meditation, also called Mindfulness or Insight Meditation, consists mainly of focusing on your breath.

We would focus our attention on the in and out movement of the breath and sometimes on the rising and falling of our abdomen as we breathed… breathing in and breathing out.

If thoughts arose we silently noted, “thinking thinking thinking” and brought our attention back to the focus of our meditation, our breath.

Towards the end of the meditation we had built up a lot of positive energy. We would then focus that energy into a prayer on loving kindness for the sake of all sentient beings.

When I learned this prayer the wording was such that we asked to be free from suffering and to be happy, peaceful and liberated. Because of my understanding of the Law of Attraction I have adapted some of the wording. For example, instead of focusing on freedom from suffering,  the focus is on feeling free to flow with wellness and ease.

Here then is the Loving Kindness prayer. Notice that you start with your self first. This is because you have to love yourself first before you can love others.

Loving Kindness Prayer (called Metta in Pali)

May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be liberated.
May I find happiness and the causes of happiness.
May I live in peace and harmony with life. .
May I feel free to flow with wellness and ease.

May my family be happy.
May my family be peaceful.
May my family be liberated.
May my family find happiness and the causes of happiness.
May my family live in peace and harmony with life.
May my family feel free to flow with wellness and ease.

May my friends be happy.
May my friends be peaceful.
May my friends be liberated.
May my friends find happiness and the causes of happiness.
May my friends live in peace and harmony with life.
May my friends feel free to flow with wellness and ease.

May all beings be happy.
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be liberated.
May all beings find happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings live in peace and harmony with life.
May all beings feel free to flow with wellness and ease.
May all beings be happy, peaceful and liberated.

I have always loved this prayer. It is a wonderful way to send positive, loving energy to yourself and others. And, of course, you can say this prayer mentioning a specific person or group. You can also offer it as a blessing at any time and to any one.

You might want to try this Loving Kindness prayer yourself. Simply focus on your breathing a few minutes then repeat the Loving Kindness meditation either out loud or silently to yourself. Spread some loving kindness to yourself and others and see how it makes you feel. I’d love to hear your experiences here.

In what way do you practice mindfulness and loving kindness? I welcome your comments.

Namaste,

Susan

Susan Eller
www.healingfromwithin.com

“Everything is about the way you feel. Practice scenarios that feel good – and never mind reality. Reality is only a brief moment in time that you keep repeating. “ ~Abraham-Hicks

What a statement! This concept is far different from what I (and probably all of you) have been conditioned to believe. Remember the old saying – “Seeing is Believing”! I bet most of you believe that reality is the truth of a situation.  Yet from a non-physical, broader perspective this is not the case. And now science has backed this up via the research of new physics revealing that we are in constant communication with the Universe via our vibration and feelings.

So how do you go about feeling good when you are experiencing less than desirable situations? Here are some suggestions. Look for the good and positive in your life and begin to appreciate everything you already do have. Use the power of your imagination to dream, to picture what you want. Connect with your inner being, your authentic self and know that the point of power is always in the present moment.

If you are feeling down, look for something to help you feel a little better. It is not realistic to expect that you will go from depression to pure joy. However, find things that bring you some relief, such as listening to your favorite music and reading something uplifting. You may find writing in your journal to be beneficial. There are also many wonderful healing tools and techniques that can help. The following is a method I learned from spiritual teacher, Jo Dunning.

Exercise: Quiet the mind. Sit for a moment and be with your feelings. Let go of any thinking. Just be with your feelings and notice the base line feeling such as loneliness, sadness, fear etc. In about three minutes the energy will rise up through your Chakra system. The feeling will lift and go away. When that happens you will feel better and find yourself in a higher vibration.

Remember that everything is always changing. Nothing stays the same and that this too shall pass. The more you can feel good the more you can attract good things into your life. And it’s never too late to start. So practice feeling good as often and as best as you can. Here is a list of things that help me feel good.

• Being with my husband.

• Enjoying my home.

• Watching my cat’s antics.
  

• Listening to the birds.

• Taking walks in nature.

• I love when I see a cotton tailed rabbit, quail and other critters.

• Listening to uplifting CD’s and MP3 recordings
  

• Getting lost in a good book.

• Appreciating the mountains and sky around where I live.

• Connecting with inspiring, supportive and like-minded friends.

Now it’s your turn. What works for you? Let me know.

All the best,

Susan

www.healingfromwithin.com